Anxiety and Overthinking: When Your Mind Just Won’t Switch Off

How many of us have had this happen?

Maybe it’s always been there, or perhaps it comes and goes depending on what is happening in your life. Some of us have a feeling of constantly worrying and the dreaded feeling of “what if” thoughts that arrive when you are ready to make a clear decision. It then becomes an issue, creating self-doubt and questioning which direction is best for you. Its very confusing and upsetting. 

These constant thoughts can race through the mind all day and night. You may wake sometimes with the feeling that the day is already here, that it is going to be a fighting experience, and how are you going to cope. There can be a feeling of dread and unsettlement, leaving you feeling on edge and overwhelmed before the day has even begun.

In more severe cases, anxiety can have a physical effect on you, with noticeable signs that your body is also responding to what your mind is experiencing. You may feel tense, restless, tired or unable to relax, even when there is no obvious reason for you to feel this way. Then coping with family and friends and the merry go round of day-to-day life while your head/body is spinning. 

Some key avenues to explore are the difference between normal worry and anxiety, with a view to simple strategies that may help you regain a sense of calm and bring yourself back into the present.

Why do we replay conversations?

Why do we worry about decisions, question ourselves or imagine the worst-case scenarios? Why, at times, do we struggle to let go of things that have already happened?

These are questions worth exploring because sometimes the mind becomes caught in a cycle of thinking, analysing and questioning. You may go over something that happened earlier in the day, thinking about what you said, what someone else said, how you responded or whether you could have handled the situation differently. More doubt on doubt .. 

The difficulty is that overthinking can make us believe that if we continue to think about something, we will eventually find the perfect answer. However, sometimes the opposite happens. The more we think, the more confused we become, creating even more questions and uncertainty.

There is a difference between worry and anxiety. Everyday worry is something most of us experience from time to time. We may worry about work, family, finances, relationships, decisions or what is happening in the future. This type of worry can often pass when the situation is resolved or when we have had time to process what is happening.

Anxiety can feel different. When everyday worry starts affecting our sleep, relationships, work and daily life, it may be time to look more closely at what is happening. Anxiety can make small problems feel much bigger and can leave you feeling as though you are constantly trying to manage the next thought, the next decision or the next possibility.

There can also be the experience of “holding it together”. You may look fine on the outside, continue going to work, care for your family, complete your daily responsibilities and appear as though everything is ok, not letting the side down not embarrassing yourself or looking weak. Internally, you may feel overwhelmed, exhausted and unsure of how much longer you can continue carrying everything.

Sometimes we become so used to feeling this way that we accept it as normal. We may say, This is just how I am  or I have always been an over thinker. But recognising a pattern does not mean that you have to remain stuck in it.

One simple place to begin is by becoming aware of your thoughts without immediately reacting to them. Notice what is happening in your mind and ask yourself whether the thought is based on something that is happening now, something that has already happened, or something you are imagining might happen.

Bringing yourself back to the present can also be helpful. Rather than trying to solve everything at once, focus on what is directly in front of you. Take a breath, slow down and notice what you can see, hear and feel around you. Sometimes creating a small pause between the thought and your response can make a significant difference.

It can also be useful to question the “what if” thoughts. What if it goes wrong? What if I make the wrong decision? What if someone thinks differently of me? These thoughts can feel very real, but they are still thoughts about something that may or may not happen.

Learning to recognise the difference between a thought and a fact can help create some space. You do not have to answer every thought that enters your mind.

It is also important to give yourself permission to let go of conversations, decisions and situations that cannot be changed. We can learn from experiences without repeatedly returning to them.

Managing anxiety and overthinking is not about making your mind completely quiet. Our minds will always think, question and process. It is about learning to notice what is happening and finding ways to respond differently.

Sometimes the first step is simply recognising that you are overwhelmed and allowing yourself to pause.

You do not have to have every answer today. You do not have to solve every problem before you can feel calm. Sometimes, bringing yourself back to this moment, rather than worrying about everything that might happen next, is enough to begin creating a different experience.

If anxiety or overwhelming thoughts are significantly affecting your everyday life, seeking support can also be an important step. You do not have to manage everything on your own.